Children that are constantly needing attention can hardly accept "no" for an answer. If your kid is constantly demanding something in a rude way, don’t get stressed out! In the current world, numerous parents are experiencing such issues. Here are 11 effective and respectful strategies for dealing with demanding children.

11 tips to deal with your demanding child

Understand their needs

Sometimes kids ask for basic things in rude ways. Try to understand what they want. For instance, 'Get me food!' means 'I am hungry; "Go away" means "I need space; "Pick me up" could refer to 'I require a hug or 'I'm not feeling safe. 

When a kid is demanding something from you, it is communicating a need. Now, what does the kid need you to do? The easiest thing to do is to identify the kid's needs and simply say you heard it. 

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Find the reason for anger

Each child is not similar. Like adults, children have different traits and personalities. 

The anger of children is likely caused by a different emotion they're unable to communicate. Some kids may get angry about basic needs like food; while some kids may always get restless for new toys in shopping malls. Therefore it's essential to allow your children space to express their feelings. 

Take a positive attitude

When your child is over-demanding, you may think that kid is rude or insolent. However, the way you perceive children determines how they can think of themselves. 

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If you respond to the child with an angry voice and tag the kid’s behaviour as ‘rude’. The kid may bear the same perception about himself or herself, and continue to behave in ways that conform to this judgment. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Therefore, try to stay calm and stay positive in response to a child that has shouted for food or a new toy, or other things. Try responding by saying something such as, "You sound very frustrated about something; what can I do to help?" By responding to the kid’s needs in a polite way, you can let it know that you understand its demand. 

Don't take it personally

Your unconditional love for your child is unwavering. But still, the kid may act like crazy sometimes! Don’t take such insolence personally. It could feel like it, but these ill-manners or irrational demands aren't about you or indicate how you parent your children. They are just a challenge at times!

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They're likely feeling overwhelmed and just beginning to learn how to communicate. Relax before responding to your child; remember that your child can influence their future decisions.

Help them resolve their needs

Sometimes your kids require or want you to take care of things for them; however, most of the time, they need to know more before they are sure of what to do. They're capable and confident and awed by their ability to make decisions themselves. It's your responsibility to help them do this. Honestly, it's not practical, useful, or fun for you to take on everything for them. 

After acknowledging their need, should they be capable of helping themselves, a brief, nonjudgmental, and not accusatory statement could assist them in deciding the next steps.

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Be kind and talk to them with an open mind

Sometimes, you have tried all of the above and still hear a resounding demand. It could be that you are wrong regarding the need that is at the root that your children really need is some compassion before they're at a point where they can discern what they're looking for. 

Be there for the child, be supportive of them, discuss the issue, and solve it when everyone is relaxed and capable. Achieving a request is not a sign of giving in, but it does mean that you're always there for your child when they are most difficult. 

Define what constitutes a demanding behavior

Spend the time to sit with your child and discuss the distinction between polite, acceptable behavior and demanding behavior, which won't help them get anywhere. This makes it much easier to discuss their shady actions later. However, don't do it during a tiff, and it's a great discussion to have when both of you are in a relaxed state!

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Model good behavior

Now, how to teach your kids to express themselves and communicate their desires in a bit more polite way? The answer is you have to behave politely first before you expect your kid to be well-mannered.

Instead of giving them instructions on what to do, make it sound like an appeal: "Can you please wash your hands before dinner" instead of "Go wash your hands".

Remember, your kid is always following you! So, when you're with others or in public, demonstrate the manner of conduct you'd like your children to emulate. If you make a mistake and get angry with your kids or other people and then you're not able to control it, be sure to assure them of your apology and also explain the mistake was not yours.

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Salute their manner of conduct

If your child is correctly asking for things or acts positively, you must be sure to acknowledge and praise the child for their efforts. You can give them small gifts or incentives like ice cream or their favorite food.

Children learn best by reiterating good behavior rather than being admonished for bad behavior.

Encourage them to fulfill extra needs with their own saving

In the current world, lucrative promotions, branding, and advertising impress adults. Kids become prey to these crazy advertisements on TVs, and in shopping malls. Unlike adults, kids have less patience and judgment power. Sometimes, your kid might be relentlessly demanding a new toy, doll, or shirt. 

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So, don’t be upset about your kid’s excessive demands; rather you can set a toy budget or shopping budget for your child. 

Try to make them understand the value of money and encourage them to make savings. So that they can buy desired things with their saved money.

Take good care of yourself

It has never been easy to be a parent. Being a parent and managing the household can be exhausting and stress-inducing. Make sure that you're looking at yourself too.

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A good night's sleep, eating well, and taking time to relax with your parents are vital to your well-being. The more relaxed you are, the easier it will be to handle your children's demands without becoming frustrated or losing your temper.

Bottom Line

So far, we have discussed how to deal with a demanding child. Demands are not an emergency; it's not something to be punished for. It's an appeal for assistance, an opportunity for connecting, a child in school, and a need to be acknowledged. Remember that a demanding child provides the parent with the opportunity to impart knowledge. Parents have the chance to address the issue!

Many parents treat their children the way they would like to be treated by them. This is extremely strong. If you keep showing affection and a positive attitude, they will begin to learn what it feels and looks like to be treated with kindness. Keep the faith, and then try again.

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